#its ok i used to be that way too
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some of y'all will really talk about your bpd and proceed to describe an entirely different personality disorder
#its ok i used to be that way too#fr though some of you need to research the rest of cluster b#bpd#actually bpd#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#cluster b#hpd#npd#aspd
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Learn from who? Learn from you?
Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#pdribs#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#uh huh. mmhm. parallels and shit#OK LIKE. in nice words ai di essentially tells chen yi to go for it BUT bc hes a Lil Shit he says it like 'use force to PROVE how you feel.#followed by '.....OH WAIT YOU CANT BEAT HIM'. the way he rubs that in chen yi's face too like it isnt even 'youre weaker than him.'#it's you're LOWER than him. & thats why ai di calls him a coward bc therell always be a divide between chen yi & cdy that chen yi wont cros#and the point of this is - okay i know chen yi is literally picking ai di up and throwing him around here but also you have to remember#ai di LETS HIM. ai di doesnt fight back as hard as he could and that puts them on EVEN. EQUAL. GROUND. every time.#& yeah theres some comedy to it but you cant Ever forget that ai di wants chen yi to want him. needs it. he's faking sleep in the 1st scene#and once chen yi realizes what he wants he puts everything he has into keeping it - inadvertently taking ai di's advice by doing so -#& expresses it in every kind of way too. whatever it takes. bc between the two of them its not just 'bring him back' it's 'bring him HOME'#in a way thats based on the constantly being witness to the worst of each other & choosing it AND. years and layers of trust & love.#..ok only I would take a gifset of chen yi picking ai di up & make it abt how their relationship is perfectly balanced. but im right so idc#the last one ties it all together in my onion. chen yi got him home. and ai di's deliberately allowing himself to be loved. they won
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Why do they do this
#i hate hate hate HATE when people do this#asking you if you have a crush when you actuslly do and squeeing about it? cute and fun#but when i say ‘i dont like anyone here’ i mean ‘i dont like anyone here’ in THAT way#and its like. wh. they cant believe#that i dont like a single man from a group#like. yeah?? just bc People Exist doesnt mean im gonna crush on someone 100%??#why is it SO HARD FOR THEM TO BELIEVEEE UGHHH#i dont consider myself asexual but if someone does this again i might reconsider 😭#look lady my boyfriends are skeletons and robots. do you see any skeletons/robots in the group#no? thrn its 1% chance i Crush on someone#sorry its just so annoying when people do it orz#i dont like using the word bc it feels cring but p. normie behavior jjfrnjrfj#aka doodles#i trll them i dont like anyone but theyre like BUT WHOS YOUR TOP PICK#and take thst as yu trying ot hide your crush#fucking. no. i just dont#ok rant done jjffjvfnvf#something something heteronormative too much focus on romance thngy
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getting the attention of the humanoid typhoon
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#wolfwood menace arc#he also wouldnt know HOW obvious to make it so he's just ramping it up throughout the day#but vash is sooooo used to repressing but also experiencing this kind of want so strongly for the first time#makes him wear the most obvious expressions.... while wolfwood is ALSO not used to being wanted in this way so he would be none the wiser#to vash's obvious expressions -- does that make sense. theyre silly. theyre so silly its like an endless loop#and then wolfwood is like ok i guess im doing something wrong or maybe he just doesnt want me like that. whatever! we move on#vash: dying crumbling - wondering if ww is doing it on purpose but also too nervous to ask until he starts literally taking off layers#ruporas art
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#been a really long time since I drew milo#the other day someone called him my 'beefcakesona' and I-#AND WHAT ABOUT IT#anyways I love him and I love this text post#but also I'm scared to reply to text posts now cause the one time that one got fuckin BLASTED TO SMITHEREENS LMFAO#ok. anyways#drawing#milo#millennium#uhmmmm#my art#digital art#digital drawing#my ocs#ocs#art#ok thats enough I feel like I use way too many tags I SERIOUSLY have to organize them better its just like. overwhelming HAHAHA#I look at my archive and I'm like uhhhh maybe later actually
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A lil guy !
#honkai star rail#dan heng#genuinely have a million things i wanna draw and then zero energy#so dan heng in a hoodie#now i gotta go get dinner sooooo maybe that will give energy and then i can draw more of what i actually wanna draw#but i kinda spent like ... hours ? talking to my mom earlier today#since shes been in the hospital for many many days#so i was catching her up on whats been goin on and showed her silly lil videos#and telling her how hyped i was for summer hrid and she (very patient with my fe talk)#was like you always tell me about banners being bad so it must have made you REALLY happy to say the whole banner is good#and im like yeah and i had multiple people on multiple sites like hey salmon/moeblob did ya see the banner#and she was like thats so cool that people acknowledge who you like and im like yeah it is p cool#and then i told her how mad i was at the absolutely criminal act of limiting how you can watch clue (1985 hit movie)#like i told her yeah sure i own it twice on dvd and once on itunes and that the only way to watch those#are either desktop or ps2 and how i dont have access to my itunes email#and i dont have it on my laptop so i sadly would have to rebuy the movie on itunes under a new acct#then i said how i loved that it was free to watch with ads on yt and id watched it twice that way#but then recently wanted to watch it on there but laptop and hoo boy you have to buy or rent it now#so i v angrily was like fine whatever ill do the thing and leave my room and go watch it on my moms tv#while she isnt around and use her amazon prime where it should be included except ! IT WASNT!#YOU HAVE TO HAVE PRIME TO BUY OR RENT IT NOW TOO!#HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS AND WHY ! who in the world is watching this movie so much that isnt me that they have to charge for it now#on all platforms unless you straight up pirate it#and hey why would i of all people be needing to pirate a movie i own physically two times and digitally once#this is literally a personalized attack to me#and my mom was like i understand how you feel cause yeah thats really weird to do to a 1985 movie#and im like yes exactly i have morals and principles that make me opposed to this and its v maddening#and she said she understood and its ok next time we are having power issues and i have to shut down#that if i really wanna watch it i can rent it on her amazon account and i looked at her and shes like oh you feel v strongly about this#and i do! I HAVE HAD IT GIFTED TO ME TWICE ! I BOUGHT IT ONCE! WHY DO I HAVE TO RENT IT FOR MORE MONEY!
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let people enjoy things, let the fandom have fun! lets not look into deeper things thats pretentions, lets not engage with anything critically thats just hating, lets just enjoy things lets do some escapism stop being a downer, lets not think im too tired to do that, i want it easy lets have that dripfed content curated for my fun, let people enjoy things, feed me the slop ill gurgle it all, lets think less im here to have fun and fun is when im not engaged at all, its just my taste, its all tasteless im gonna ignore it im gonna translate it into the easiest tropes and trends i can handle and repeat again and again and im gonna enjoy things
#sometimes u need to engage with things without your lenses of what fun should be#its good for you ok sometimes you find other ways to be engaged and have fun even#and sometimes u just develop ur brain machine a bit more and its good ok#u gotta step out of that comfort zone ok just one step ok just a little bit lets try put our nogging to work ok lets not go into a thing fo#shipping for a moment ok lets try looking at what the story is giving us and now what i want for my entertainment in it#once you do that a little bit you can go back to the mindless fun too just lets do a little bit of both ok
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as if it was never there at all.
#undertale#deltarune#utdr#gaster#ok little bit of rambling bc ive been catching up on a LOT of deltarune stuff#something something guy(s) who cant be perceived without also ceasing to exist#i had the thought yesterday that. gaster is sort of the anti-chara in a way. if you say his name he ‘disappears’#the game crashes or resets etc. literally the opposite of invoking chara lol#plus how chara is so associated with deletion of worlds. and here gaster is wanting to create new ones#creating new worlds. creating a vessel for the player. creating connections#and its so much more sad when you think about how deltarune is like. fundamentally his attempt to connect with the player#he can maintain a connection with us. but we can’t see him. or show him his own name. or acknowledge his identity in any way#or else that connection will be severed. or he’ll disappear. or he’ll cease to have ever existed#mystery man goes away the moment you interact. egg man was never there but he gave you an Egg#etc etc#the white egg noelle was given in her game makes me think about this too because#that egg remained there the whole time she was afraid of it. it couldnt be thrown away. it wouldnt hatch. it was just There#and then when she comes back later and decides to take care of it like any of her other pets. THEN it disappears#’_____ left home due to happiness.’#how do you form real lasting connections when the connection itself makes you disappear
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'When', not 'if'
("I'm not a romantic" I cry and scream before dropping the most sickening thing i've written to date. Blame @stunie because i did tell her i would write the most ume thing ever and maybe this is it. The title in my docs for it is 'Fucking disgusting' but i figured i better not title it that here because I'd be seeing it in my notifs lmaoo)
SFW/no cw unless you hate fluff
When you wake up from your nap, one of your slippers is gone, and there's a blanket on you that wasn't there prior. Looking at the clock, it's been about an hour since everyone had left your apartment once your birthday party ended. The day as a whole had been chaotic, your boyfriend shoving you out the door with a note to go see Kotoha.
The note took you farther than that, though, as it seemed Umemiya created a whole scavenger hunt for your birthday that had you running into all of your friends, having dessert at your favorite cafe, and eventually ending up at your shared apartment to find that all that time spent around town was a distraction so that he could set up the space for your party. After it had ended, you were banished to the couch because princesses aren't allowed to help clean up their own birthday parties, which had you huffing and falling face down into the chicken shaped pillow affectionately called Mr.Clucky.
It was a product of your boyfriend's endless cycle of hobbies when he took up sewing. A little lopsided and overfilled with stuffing, you complained to and into Mr.Clucky with your face pressed into him. Apparently, he was soft enough to fall asleep on because before you knew it, you had been drooling on him the entire hour. Prying yourself off the couch took more effort than was almost worth it before your eyes fell on the reason you were so tired to begin with.
Hajime smiles and hums looking at your bleary eyes. "Good morning sunshine, I was just about to take you to bed," he says, folding a dish towel over a chair. You toss off the blanket and grab on the slipper that fell under the living room table before padding up to him. Dipping your hands under both of his arms to lock them together behind him, now your face is in his chest instead of the chicken, which is entirely preferred.
"Don't wanna go to bed just yet," you muffle, sinking even deeper into him when both of his arms wrap around you in support. He smells like dish soap and birthday cake, and you turn your head to hear the heartbeat in his chest.
"What do you wanna do lovey? You know I'd give you the world if you asked," you can hear the rumble of his voice in his chest with your pressed ear. He's cheesy, but half asleep, you feel just as much, if not cheesier.
"I have the world if I have you, they're one in the same. So just you is more than fine." Your eyes are closed, but you feel him shiver a little. "I wanna dance with you, though," you say, voice still soft and kinda raspy from sleep.
"Dunno if I can top what you just said even when I propose," he chokes out a laugh, or at least you think it's one. He shifts his hold a bit and starts leading you both in a lazy sway that starts near the toaster and ends next to the potted plant at the back door before starting over.
"When? Not if?" You tease him, a hand going to scratch the nape of his neck lightly.
"I'll never meet another you, so I'm pretty set on When."
"I'll say yes." Because you will. You can't imagine a life where you wouldn't.
"And I'll still cry when you do." You can tell he's crying now because it comes out shaky and his hold tightens a bit, before you lean back, stopping your impromptu waltz. Both of your hands come up to cup his face and look at his teary grey eyes before cooing at him.
"You big baby! Save those tears for When please. You'll be congested and sniffley all night if you don't stop." You start cleaning off his face with your sleeve, but he stops one of your hands and starts peppering your palm and wrist with small kisses. "I think I'm ready for bed now. Princess's orders," you say, dragging him towards your bedroom. You'll have to figure out tomorrow just how soon When is going to be, but for now you can hear the slow thumps of Hajime's steps as he follows behind you, squeezing your connected hand. It's not pressing in the least, you think, because it feels like there will be plenty of tomorrows too.
-----
When you wake up in the morning, it takes you an hour to realize Hajime had put the ring on your finger while you were asleep.
It takes you five minutes to run through town in your pajamas, barefoot to find and full on tackle him in front of the place he was about to get your breakfast in.
And it takes about two minutes of unintelligible blubbering on both your parts before anyone understands what is going on.
No one timed it, but if they did, it would've taken less than ten minutes for the whole town to find out via texts, calls, and yells down the streets and through windows that you're engaged.
#umemiya hajime x reader#umemiya hajime#mari writes#also em this is because of YOUR sweet ume fic as well YOU'RE my inspo#the most romantic thing /i/ can think of is slow dancing even when theres no music its always been that way#though the song i gave to this one is one summer night by the danleers just like...thats what should play when reading the dancing part#also i watch too many turner classic movies so its like....watching an old old romance movie#i couldnt reread it more than twice sorry if the grammars bad i was cringing the entire time because while i think this is good#im allergic to emotions and i made myself cry during it#one day id like to write something small on the scavenger hunt he sent us on cause i think it'd be cute#he might do something similar when he proposes but shhh#i want him to drop the ring off on my finger when im sleeping like the tooth FAIRY OH MY GOD I COULDVE ENDED IT LIKE THAT FUCK ME#WAIT I CAN WRITE IT AS A QUICK SIDE#ok im back i wrote it
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out w these tall clowns 🌲🌸
#who up yume-ing their ocs w characters (me)#yumeship#matsukawa issei#haikyuu oc#hanamaki takahiro#haikyuu#mblue art#self insert#ocsona#or animesona either way its still an oc who may look similar to my sona 🧍#seijohbros au#this thing took too long (can you tell. this was for halloween. it is now 11/5 and i am queueing this)#and i keep taking it out of queue to drafts and putting it back bc im overthinking things and i rlly just need to drop it and move on</3#i love my blorbos sm they look ok in here actually but the process was shinji chair meme worthy i was suffering </3#context is halloween party das it (left is dressed up as that stabby ghostface guy. knife prop and mask not shown)--#--(he may have joked abt stabbing once. maybe a few times)--#--(right is an angel. kinda low effort/simple fit. ironic bc none of the ppl in the friend group are angels /hj)#in the group; ocsona is the closest to these two goofy mfs (not surprising i am in the utmv fandom. lots of goofy skeletons in there)--#--but the one they trust the most is the guy on the left !#((used the yumeship term bc my ocsona (specifically)'s main thing w them is platonic (i love silly shenanigans what can i say)--))#((--even if i sometimes want to rom smooch these dorks))#yearning about f/os (rom or plat) is so nice n fun you guys should do it n have fun n get some more whimsy in ur life 10/10 i recommend
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Kataang Week 2024 DAY 1 // Cultural Sharing
“I’m nervous. Am I doing okay?”
“You’re doing amazing Sweetie.”
#kataangtag#kataang week#kw24#katara#aang#kataracies#avatart#As someone whose hair is a major part of their culture I wanted to lend that to this piece#I think braiding would be wonderful in the hands of Air Nomads women even though the men are all top bald baddies ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_#in my culture Black Americans used hair braiding as a way to navigate. Braiding styles were used as maps to avoid traps and find freedom#and since Air is the element of freedom it felt right 💛🧡#on a lighter note do NOT notice how rusty I am ok HEY WHAT I SAY AHT AHT#I’m so happy I finally got to draw these bubbles braids on someone they are the CUTEST#I will say dating someone from another culture isn’t as hard as people fantasize 😂 I’m just respectful of my partner and eager to learn#I think a lot of that gets lost when people focus to heavily on if one or the other partner doesn’t look like they are 24/7#dripped in another partner’s culture. like a lot of love for the significant other gets missed#but you’ll never lose that love or reverence for you culture and I hope that message comes across in this lil drawing ok byeee (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*: ・゚#ON TO DAY 2#English majors do not come for me I see it’s the wrong *too ITS THE TAGS GIRL WHATCHU WANT ME TO DO
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Life on the farm
#gopher art#mortal kombat#subscorp#mk subzero#mk scorpion#kuai liang#hanzo hasashi#mortal kombat legends#been holding onto this one for a bit! finished it more than a month ago lol#i was originally going to save it for subscorp week but then i was like. nah. that wouldnt be entirely fair lol#and besides. ive been wanting to share it for long enough and my resolve has kinda worn down#anyway - snowblind but AU'd! heres my concept of this (which i may use later on for something idk): king kano got his shit wrecked#like way before the events of the movie. by the revenants in fact. i want him torn to shreds. you still have random roving assholes#making trouble across the wastes. but its much less dire. kuai still retires to his farm. kenshi still falls for shang tsung's bullshit#and kuai mentors him. hanzo becomes warlord of netherrealm. BUT. he and kuai keep in contact. its long distance and they make it work#sometimes scorpion vacays to Kuai's farm. as a treat. thats what this drawing is#i cant deny that i literally just want them to be happy ok. thats literally all i want for these gay old ninjas#bonus commentary: at the time of drawing this i was still figuring out how i wanted to draw hanzo. he's so fucking hard to draw#when i draw him without his mask or beard he looks so fucking off. but if i draw him with the beard it feels weird too.#babygirl why are you so hard to draw?? dont you want me to draw you?????
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happy Monday faggots 🫶🏽
#ok to rb#I MADE THIS HAT#THIS IS TO SHOW OFF THIS HAT I MADE#technically its like 2 years old now i think but i was really embarrassed when i made it and i have no idea why#so its the first time im wearing it out ahdksksjdk#arent the blue hearts so cute#it reminds me of a sad love letter#fun fact: the dotting was an accident#i used way too thick of yarn for the hearts on purpose cause i wanted it to show through#i wish i knew what pattern i used for this#bun.life
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only human
[ID: Two page comic in color of Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun Maximum. The first page has a black background and the upper half, behind the panels, is splattered with stylized red blood, scattered bullets, and lifeless hands. In the first panel, it focuses on Vash's boots, showing him stepping through the panel and into the bloody scene. The second panel shows his bloody footprints and the third panel shows his face, his down-turned eyes looking downwards. It's a neutral, vague expression with confliction. At the bottom of the page, the back of Wolfwood's head and shoulder is seen, blood dirtying the white color of his shirt and side of his face. Vash's hand reaches out to him from the right side of the page.
The second page shows the entire scene in full, half the page in light and the other in solid black. At the center, Vash leans down onto his knees as he wraps his arms around Wolfwood's shoulders into a hug. Wolfwood's back is turned away from the viewer, his left arm holds onto his bloodied punisher and his right hand sits on his lap. Light casts from the left side of the page, showing the bloodied surrounding, but the held up punisher casts a shadow on the both of them, shielding them from the light. END ID]
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#tw blood#<-- should i add that to the original post... if it's effective?#anyway this was a direct sequel to the previous post... i had a lot of thoughts when i drew it but my brain is failing me rn#something something about being granted that bit of mundanity and then running into some situation that whiplashes u back into the identity#u were built and trained to be. that at the end of the day its not possible to just be without dirtying your hands again#he's used to it but ww will forever be someone too kind too tender hearted to really be eased out of the cold lifestyle he's forced to live#and i personally dont think trimax vash could look at wolfwood with disdain or disappointment when catching him after the fact#he knows where wolfwood's heart lies he's seen the way wolfwood killed to protect and he thanked him for it too. i think him understanding#ww deeper in that way would just make his heart wretch so all he can offer is a comfort and arms to return to.#to reassure that he can still be loved even with the blood on his hands#i also think i drew an illustration when i first got into trigun depicting this same ish message....#i'm just very particular about this Subject. i need ww to be loved i need him to be reassured even if he'll still refuse to believe he's#worthy of it like AUGHHH. ok.#ruporas art
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Return date for my webcomic, Time and Time Again!
It's been set for a while but sometimes they change the date without warning, so I'll keep you updated if anything changes!
I'm extremely proud of the work I've been doing on it, I can't wait to share everything!
See you then!
#i still have to finish book 4#soooo iiiiiii will do that... this week...#really trying to be done with it but this one is taking so long for all the changes!#hoping to have an update on that soon too#might have taken on a few too many projects#but yay! return!#yippee!!!#i would say sorry its been so long but theres no way it could have been shorter and other people are gone way longer#i tried to leave things on a nice note so itd only be missed for wanting more#and not missed for feeling abandoned#ok! time to get up for another day of work! really need some things off my list so my days can be like.#9/10 hours instead of 12 LOL#im so tired. im legitimately extremely overworked it's a problem#ok bye back to work for me#return#hiatus stuff#time and time again#announcement#use this post to talk about how excited you are and make guesses and shower me with praise :-)[-[#LMAO
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AND WE JUST DONT TALK ABOUT THIS?!?!?!!????
#THIS IS LITERALLY LITERAAALLLYYY THE BIGGEST FORM OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT SUGISHITA COULD HAVE#NOT ONLY IS HE DOING WHATS BEST FOR UMEMIYA BUT HES PUTTING HIS TRUST IN SAKURA TO HELP HIM#AND OH IM SO UNWELL#HIS BODY IS PHYSICALLY REACTING TO HIM MAKING THIS DECISION IM JUST#IM SO PROUD#and then sakura acknowledging all of this too i just love them sm#they really have one of the best dynamics 😭😭😭#wind breaker#kyotaro sugishita#sakura haruka#wind breaker spoilers#wind breaker manga spoilers#ok nvm im still talking bc the second image literally gets me everytime i look at it#first off the way they drew sakura in that scene in the first place is just so beautiful thats the only word i can think for it rn 😭😭😭😭#second seeing this scene from sugishitas perspective and then learning later that the reason he has this reaction was because he thought-#-sakura looked cool and hes never thought that about anyone before just really gives us so much more for their relationship#specially how sugishita acts towards him 😭😭#add that onto what umemiya says to him (which i couldnt include in this post </3) about how hes never really shown emotion to anyone-#-till sakura showed up then it gives us an even BETTER understanding of why sugishita acts the way he does around sakura#my brain is so frazzled by the sun today and words are not coming to me easily so apologies if none of this makes any sense 😭😭😭#ill revisit it another time anyway#also the way they describe all of this really makes it sound like he has a lil crush and its so sweet 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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